•  “Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.”

  • “Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys.. we’d all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!

    “Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”

  • “The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s i decent.”

  • “What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.”

  • “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.”

  • “Music played a large role in the survival of the black people in America — that and a sense of humor that just couldn’t be enslaved.”

  • “This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I’m coming to join ya, honey!”

  • ‘I ain’t from Africa. I’m from St. Louis.”